Your Inner Family Archetypes:
Keys to your personality, your relationships and greater
wholeness
By Therese Emanuel Grey
Brian Grey, Bozeman, MT - (406) 586-5913
When I first came in contact five years ago with The Inner Family Archetype ModelTM developed by psychologist Caroline Hanstke and lifestyle coach Brian Grey, I had no idea of how much it would change my life!
I had been pursuing many paths of self-improvement and personal
psychology to find greater wholeness, balance, understanding and
fulfillment in life. Each path had its merits, bringing me forward
on my journey. None, however, helped me accelerate as fast as
The Inner Family Archetype Model.
The Inner Family Archetype Model is the ultimate roadmap into
understanding ourselves and others. It helps us get to the root
of who we are and why we behave the way we do, and understand
how we relate to other people. Working with this model brings
out the best in us by helping us get rid of our inherited negative
patterns of behavior, by eliminating our need for co-dependent
relationships and by making us more competent in everyday situations.
Most important, it allows us to be true to ourselves and to others,
to give and receive more love and to become who we are really
meant to be.
Caroline and Brian have used this model in personal consultation
with thousands of clients, as well as with multinational corporations
and Canadian government and educational agencies. They have lectured
on The Inner Family Archetype Model in cities throughout North
America and regularly conduct workshops and seminars. Caroline
works out of Calgary, Canada and Brian works out of Bozeman, Montana.
The dictionary defines archetypes as a prototype-an original pattern,
or model from which other things are made. Studying archetypes
yields great insight into our inner selves. Beginning with Carl
Jung, people have used the term "archetype" to refer
to interfacing aspects of self.
The Inner Family Archetype Model focuses on the four cardinal
points of our being: the archetypes of Father, Mother BoychildTM
and GirlchildTM that form the cornerstone of our identity and
set the stage for our personality.
These archetypes work either in harmony as the Loving Inner Family,
or in conflict as the Unloving Inner Family, and are influenced
by our family upbringing, social milieu and culture. Unloving
Inner Family dynamics are at the root of many divisions within
the psyche, personal problems and relationship challenges. Creating
and sustaining Loving Inner Family dynamics helps us to overcome
our inner conflicts, so that we become more whole, relate to others
from a healthier psychological standpoint and experience renewed
vitality and joy in our lives.
Even though everyone has the same four loving and unloving archetypes,
people express these archetypes in different ways and varying
degrees, depending on which of the four archetypes they operate
from in the superconscious mind, in the conscious mind, in the
subconscious mind and in the unconscious mind.
Someone, for instance, may have Boychild operating at the conscious
level, Girlchild at the subconscious, Mother at the superconscious
and Father at the unconscious, while someone else may be conscious
Girlchild, subconscious Mother, superconscious Father and unconscious
Boychild. This accounts for some of the many personality differences
between people.
The Loving Father archetype must be present in order to sustain
a loving inner family because Father sets the blueprint. He protects,
directs, disciplines and gives us what we are supposed to do.
He is impersonal impersonality and exercises conditional love.
He represents the law of cause and effect. Thomas More, in the
movie Man for All Seasons, is a good example of Loving Father.
Unloving Father is the part of our shadow self that is a tyrant.
He controls through criticism and intimidation, and condemns others
into fulfilling his agenda. He is inconsistent, unreliable and
arbitrary and can only be counted on to do harm.
Loving Mother is the unconditional love mechanism and the personal
personality of our nature. She is warm and loving. She holds the
immaculate concept and dispenses wisdom's vision. She nurtures,
teaches, guides and explains the Who, What, Where, When and Why
of things. She also explains the rules and standards set by Loving
Father. Jesus, for example, clearly demonstrated the Loving Mother
archetype in his role as teacher.
Unloving Mother controls through avoidance. She manifests this
avoidance either through aloofness or through a "smother
mother" consciousness. Aloof, she abandons us to the criticism
of Unloving Father, the extreme negative competition of Unloved
Boychild and the hopelessness of Unloved Girlchild. As smother-mother,
she spoils the child to replace the true unconditional giving
of herself.
Loved Boychild helps us to excel in life, to accomplish all we would accomplish, and to fulfill our dreams. He is the impersonal personality. He is assertive, courageous and fearless in battle. He is also curious, investigative, likes to experiment and wants to know how things work. He seeks to express mastery over things and is competitive in order to master skills. He enjoys games and challenges, and is self-confident. His charisma, charm and sense of humor make him attractive to others. The Disney cartoon Hercules, is a good example of the journey to becoming Loved Boychild.
Unloved Boychild thrives on pride and negative competition. He
controls through negative competition. When Unloved Boychild is
operating in us, he is always measuring who is superior and who
is inferior. He is the rebel, angry and aggressive. He is deceitful,
interrogates and bullies. He is envious and wants his way at all
costs. He always has to have the last word. Because he is usually
frustrated, he often develops obsessions and compulsive behaviors.
Loved Girlchild brings finesse, inspiration, and magic to our
lives and makes life special. She is the epitome of beauty, sweetness,
gentleness, innocence, goodwill, holiness, sensitivity, diplomacy,
finesse, intuition, compassion and harmlessness. She finishes
things with fine detail. She is the personal impersonality. She
allows us to hear with our inner voice and to connect with the
essence of things. She is the most spiritual, mystical side of
our nature and can contact the transcendental. In many ways, she
is indefinable. Like Mother Teresa, she seeks to save those who
seemingly can't be saved.
Unloved Girlchild is the victim/martyr. When Unloved Girlchild
is operating in us, we can think or feel ourselves abused, victimized
or powerless. Because of her victimization pattern, she often
whines, complains and is paralyzed by fear. People operating off
of their Unloved Girlchild archetype are often mentally, emotionally
or physically abused.
Getting acquainted with the inner family archetypes was the first
step to greater wholeness in my life. Once I came to understand
what archetypes I was operating from, I was able to take the appropriate
steps necessary to root out deep self-sabotaging patterns of behavior
that I had absorbed during childhood and adolescence. In time,
it also became easier for me to figure out what archetypes are
predominant in other people. This has helped me to understand
why I get along with some people better than others and given
me the tools I need to get along with people I had previously
found "difficult."
Testimonials
"This helped me deal with the rough spots in my psychology
and deal head-on with difficult problems!!"
G.M. Vice-President Marketing
"By applying the inner family archetypes in the classroom
and at home, I found that I can optimally help children develop
their full potential."
A.L. Montessori Teacher
"This method has helped me to improve my relationships
and to achieve my personal goals step by step. As a result, I
feel that I am in the driving seat of my future."
P.P. Healing Professional
For more information, call (406) 586-5913 or visit us at www.innerfamily.com.