Speaking of Love: A Letter to my Son
By Elaine Smitha
Your desperate call last evening evoked my compassion. I wanted to take your pain away, kiss your owee and send you on your way. But, all I can do is act as your guide on the arduous journey to selfhood, a self-chosen adventure. Clearly, I felt myself shift from the role of Mother, who did things for you, to that of a wise teacher.
You agonize over your plight. How deep must you go before courage takes hold to guide you out of self-pity? Is it possible to extricate yourself from this bottomless pit of degradation? Of course! It is within you to do this.
In a way, your California ship is sinking. Ablaze, like a fiery furnace, fallen timbers cover the debris and dead bodies. In the ship's engine room, turbines roar and gears turn despite the rudder stuck in dense silt on life's earthen floor. The ship lists to port, as waters flood hungry hollows. But, I say, you are alive and that it is the moment of truth for you to examine the meaning of life. Through the smoke thick air, I hear your plea:
"Oh, God, help me to help myself. Help me to have the strength to do what I must. Oh God, if ever you are there, come forth to me now in my time of need. Oh, God, I know that I have been a wayward child, but I do want to live. I promise to change my ways and love you more than ever. Please, lift me from this burning ship of self-delusion."
Though the pain is almost too great to bear, you must not give up! You're the victim, but weary of the struggle. You, who ventured into the grasp of the turbulent midnight waters, now must deal with the tempest within you before the force of current events sucks you into its vortex. You swim toward safety, only to find yourself stuck in quick sand with the murk and mire of the past. Covered with mud, your eyes dim the brightness of a new beginning.
Divine man stands tall amidst turmoil and though he sees destruction around him, knows when to say, "It is enough!" "It is finished!" He turns to walk away, even if it is only with the clothes on his back.
It takes courage to stand up for what you are. But, you are a great consciousness, and your body follows the directions you give it through your thoughts. Gather all the strength, conviction and fortitude you can muster, and move forward onto the calmer seas of knowingness, the depths of which support you as you walk amongst the waves. Within you are the seeds of the Great Ones, courageous people whose tales inspire. You can do it. I know you can. You are greater than you ever realized.
What price is freedom? Do you sell your possessions? If you must! Do you leave your loved ones behind? If you must! Do you take the tools of your trade with you? Of course! Do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself, because you are the only one who can do this. It is up to YOU. No one can save you from yourself. This is the greatest test of your lifetime. It is a test of your WILL.
While flying your God-ship over the abyss to safety and self-hood is reward enough, it's the wisdom and knowingness gained on your journey that counts. It is you who control your destiny. It is only you who can achieve your goal. When you know you've done it, you will shout from the top of the mountain, "I'm home." YOU did it, all by yourself. You, and the God within.
For your achievement: Ribbons of Honor. Instead of loads too heavy for you to carry, great epaulets of command decorate your shoulders because you, at last, took charge of your life. Bright golden stars on your forehead bear witness to the opening of your brain to greater thought.
You now stand at the stern of your ship as a bastion of light. You are a testament to others that it's possible to rise up out of the ashes of self-imposed recrimination. You have won a major victory for you and your life.
Yes, it is humbling. Yes, it does ask you to surrender to the powers that we all have within us. Powers that allow God to come forth and pull us from the wreckage we've created as recalcitrant children. Yes, it takes courage to move into the sunlight of a new day and walk the path as a free person. Give thanks to the Father/Mother/God within you, for indeed that is where the credit belongs.
Son, I love you more than you know and will support you in every way I am able, but will still allow you to live by your decisions. The hard won victory is not yours unless you do the job yourself. Be as a little child and play with life and enjoy its many bounties. When you do that you will have experienced a life well lived.
Copyright:1992/2002 Elaine Smitha
Elaine Smitha has written numerous articles that have appeared
in magazines and newspapers over 25 years. She is host/producer
of the popular Pacific Northwest TV talk show, EVOLVING IDEAS©,
a motivational speaker, and CEO/President of Webworks.